17/09/2009(Thursday)
Yesterday,i dream that now not in September but still in August,i think maybe i don't want the september come.My friends will go to oversea in this month,that is 17 and 24/09/2009.I realise that when i can make it but sure will got something that stop me from make it.For example,last time when i am free and my friend invite me play badminton but finally it had canceled;when my knee injured,then they got play badminton.Today also same.Actually,we promise go to airport send my friends but unluckily we have no car to go there.Then,because of the holiday,so i can't send my friend go to airport on next thursday.Every time also like this and i also don't know why...
Today,i can't fully concentrate in the class because i alway think about my friends who will go to uk later.I think what way and expression should i use to say goodbye,so they just will not feel sad and i also don't want let them see me cry.Then when i know that we have no car go there,i feel a bit sad but i try to call other people and ask whether they can fetch me go to airport or not.I try to call all the people but they all went back to their hometown already.At this moment,i really feel upset.Then,i call my friends to say goodbye with them.When i heard their voice,i really don't know what should i talk to them,i scare i will cry and they will feeel sad. I tell myself that i should accept the fact but still i can't control myself.While I walked back to buddhist house,i really can't keep my feeling already and then finally cried.I persuade myself don't cry but then more tear drop from my eyes.I can't stop crying.I think i will cry because 对爱别离苦还是很执着。Maybe is the event that happen in my life before this affect me.I really scare that people will leave me away.Dharma got state that nothing is forever and you must accept it.I still learning how to accept it.Friends,wish you all the best and may you be well and happy...